Dating Safely with an Anonymous Number: I’m Samantha-ish, not a Carrie

When you’re a single woman in a big city, the ultimate hack for dating safely isn’t a can of bear spray … it’s an anonymous number.

Everyone wants to be a Carrie, but I think I’m more of a Samantha.

Not so much in the “revolving door of lovers” way, but more so in the “being free and exploring my options” kind of way.

As a single Toronto girlie, dating safely in the city comes with its own hassles and risks.

Staying safe on dating apps

Whether I’m scrolling on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, a menu of options lie awake ready to be explored.

Though my match rate remains high, not every gent deserves my time … at least not until I’ve taken the time to get to know them.

That’s where an anonymous number like Hushed comes into play.

Whenever I match with a potential new guy, I like to spend a couple of days on the dating apps to sus out the situation and make sure he’s sweet, kind … and sane! Of course.

But that isn’t enough. I always like to take a few more days chatting on the phone, but how could I do that without giving them my real phone number?

Using an anonymous number

I stumbled across this app called Hushed a couple of years ago. It gives you anonymous numbers, with over 300 area codes to choose from.

With these anonymous numbers, you can call and text anywhere in the world as long as you have an internet connection. Whenever you’re done with the anonymous number, just simply delete it and grab a new one.

This came in handy when I recently matched with a guy from London, who was in Toronto for the week …

A date with a visitor …

Dating people who are on vacation is not really my style, but I’ll never shy away from having a conversation with a handsome man. 😉

I knew I wouldn’t be in contact with this guy after his work trip, so using a private, anonymous number that I could change afterwards was perfect.

His name was Tom.

He landed in Toronto on a Sunday night, and we started chatting on the dating apps. By Monday evening, we had exchanged phone numbers. We spoke on the phone for an hour on Tuesday, and I felt that was enough vetting for me to accept a date for Thursday night.

He made dinner reservations at one of the hottest spots in town. This totally impressed me because I’ve had Toronto guys struggle to find a place down the street.

This posh, British man was already making me swoon and I hadn’t even seen him yet.

The big date …

Dressed in my best, I called an Uber and headed to the meeting spot. The place Tom chose was lively, but not too busy. Through the crowd, I saw the most handsome man.

It was Tom.

We hit it off immediately, with wonderful food and great conversation. First dates can sometimes be awkward, but the attraction was high and the urge … strong. Palatable. Sometimes, it would be nice to just listen to my carnal needs.

“Just head home together,” I thought. But I had to be true to myself. A one-night stand with a stranger was probably not going to make me feel too good the next day.

A perfect gentleman, he called me a car, opened my door, and wished me a good night.

Deleting my anonymous number

Tom and I spoke for a few more days after that, and he really wanted me to come see him one last time before he flew home.

I was tempted, but the conversation sort of dwindled, and I decided not to go. We’d had a perfect date together, and it was best to leave it at that.

Tom left town, and I deleted my anonymous number from Hushed.

It’s not that I thought Tom would be a stalker or anything. (He was a total gentleman!) But that’s just my policy when it comes to chatting with someone I’m dating casually.

Once it’s over, I move on by burning the phone number and getting a new one. The love of my life, I decided, wouldn’t be someone who was just in town for a week. He would be a constant fixture in my day to day. ❤️

I’m back on the dating apps

For now, I’m continuing to swipe and explore my options for dating safely here in Toronto.

I’m still holding onto hope that I’ll meet the guy who’s meant to stay. Short-term flings and layover beaus can be fun, but I can’t wait for the day when I get to delete the dating apps and say I’m no longer “Samantha-ish.”

Maybe I’ll become a Charlotte instead.