What is Breadcrumbing in Dating?

More than just a leftover piece of everyone’s favourite carbohydrate, breadcrumbing is yet another bit of lingo related to the new landscape of online dating.

Understanding what breadcrumbing can be beneficial for anyone on the dating scene, both for navigating the complexities of forming new relationships by allowing you to discern when someone is stringing you along or to identify if you find yourself inadvertently doing the same.

What Does Breadcrumbing Mean?

Breadcrumbing involves sending noncommittal messages or gestures of interest to someone all without any genuine intent to pursue a serious relationship. Much like in the story of Hansel and Gretel, it’s akin to dropping “breadcrumbs” to maintain someone’s attention without fully engaging them into something meaningful. 

How Does It Work?

There are few unofficial behaviours that point to someone as breadcrumbing. These include:

• Communication – The individual sends messages and interacts with your social media posts or hints at interest just enough to keep you engaged.
• Ambiguous Interaction – messages often lack clarity in intentions or future plans.
• Emotional Influence – Engaging in breadcrumbing can lead to manipulation, fostering hopes for a relationship that may never come to fruition.

Is Breadcrumbing Ever Justified?

Although, in general, individuals should avoid playing games when seeking to establish real connections in the world of dating, there may be a few select circumstances in which breadcrumbing might be a forgivable, or even acceptable, approach. Specifically, if both parties are engaging in casual dating without seeking anything substantial or if both parties are uncertain about their feelings and compatibility. 

When to Steer Clear of Breadcrumbing

If you’re seeking a lasting, deep relationship, breadcrumbing can be deceptive and unfair. Successful relationships are built on trust and it’s crucial to show respect for the other person’s emotions and refrain from leading them on if you don’t intend to pursue a connection. Instead, opt for openness and clear communication to prevent misunderstandings and intentional emotional distress. 

How to Spot Breadcrumbing Behaviour

Pay attention to the person’s communication patterns, such as long intervals between messages without reason, which are common in breadcrumbing situations. Take note if the person avoids making concrete plans to meet up or spend time together. Be cautious of expressions of interest that fail to result in real conversations or tangible, in-person interactions.

How to Handle It 

Communication Is key. Establish boundaries by expressing your expectations and limits. Inform the individual about what you desire in a relationship. Listen to your gut and take stock of whether the person is sincerely interested in you or simply keeping you around for convenience.

Ultimately, breadcrumbing can be frustrating and draining. Prioritize communication and mutual respect and expect to receive the same in return. If you realize that someone is breadcrumbing you and it doesn’t align with what you want in a relationship it’s probably an idea to move on and find someone who respects your time and feelings. You’re worth it.