Online Dating Tips for Introverts

Sometimes online dating feels like an extroverts’ game (they’re the ones who love putting themselves out there, right?) but the reality is that it can be hard for everyone.

(Especially with weird online dating trends like Zombie-ing and Fizzling.)

Even if you’re the type of person who feels recharged and energized being around other people, that doesn’t mean rejection doesn’t sting or that online dating doesn’t feel so exhausting that you just want to burrow in a pile of blankets and watch Netflix until you fall asleep.

So whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, stick to the classic advice: Be yourself, do what feels comfortable, and remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea. You’ve got this!

Ready or not, we’re coming at you with online dating tips for introverts like us!

Don’t exaggerate to sound ‘more fun’

You already are fun! You don’t need to be a wild, high-energy extrovert to be fun. So whether you’re writing your online dating bio, filling out those endless forms ‘to get to know you,’ or messaging with a potential partner, squish down any urge to try to sound like an extrovert if that’s not who you are.

If you hate parties, don’t pretend you love a good rager. If you get panicky in massive crowds, don’t lie that you attended a huge concert last week.

Be honest about your likes and your personality

If your ideal Saturday night is ordering takeout, watching a movie, and cuddling on the couch, then say so! After all, don’t you want a partner who enjoys spending their time similarly?

Honesty is always the best policy (even in the world of online dating). Don’t worry that it isn’t exciting enough.

It might feel like your online dating personality should be bigger and bolder (maybe even daring) but misrepresenting yourself now will only cause heartache in the future.

Don’t do a bait-and-switch with your photo

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you hate people, crowds, and parties (okay, sometimes it does). It just means that you’re recharged by spending quiet time alone or in a small group.

But even the most low-key introverts have wild moments, and sometimes those moments are captured in the form of hilarious, crazy photos. But if you choose one of those to be your online dating profile pic — laughing while funnelling beer, tipsy in a shopping cart at midnight, you get it — then potential partners might get the wrong idea about what you’re like on a regular basis.

And if you’re not in the market for a high-energy extrovert partner, steer clear of these pics!

Make sure your online dating profile pic represents you

If you’re always the life of the party, great! Definitely use the photo of you crowd-surfing with your tongue out. But if you’re an introvert and that photo captured a one-off moment, using a wild pic is probably going to confuse a potential partner once they start talking to you.

Instead, use a photo that shows who you really are. (Okay, yes, it should also be a photo where you feel totally hot.)

Don’t feel pressured to constantly message/chat

When you’re online dating, there are always going to be conversations happening — either within an online dating app, or over social media DMs, or texting. Just because there’s always someone to respond to doesn’t mean you need to overextend yourself by always being “on.”

If you’re getting overwhelmed by too much people-ing, set limits on when you’ll check in and respond to messages. After all, online dating isn’t supposed to feel like a demanding part-time job.

Protect your privacy with Hushed

When you’re online dating, it’s important to keep yourself safe. That’s why we always recommend NOT giving your real phone number out to someone you barely know.

(Not only is it dangerous because they could find out too much about you, like where you live, but it’s possible you could become the victim of identity theft or another form of scam.)

If you want to take your conversations out of an online dating app, use a second phone number from Hushed for all of your online dating texting and calling. No one will know this isn’t your regular phone number, since they work just like regular phone numbers, including free voicemail.

If you’re chatting with someone who ends up being sketchy and you want to cut things off, you can easily replace your Hushed phone number with a new one and start fresh. No need to have an awkward conversation or get stressed out when they keep calling. (Two introvert nightmares.)

With Hushed, your online dating journey can keep you fully in control of your own safety and privacy.