Early Stages of Dating: How Often to Text? 

If you’re a romantic then you might just consider the early stages of dating, the best stages of dating. The excitement—even the anxiety of each nerve-wracking text where you feel like the wording and the timing can make or break your future together, it’s all just part of the fun of dating. 

That being said, you need to find a balance and discover how to text in a way that doesn’t seem too eager but also isn’t too chill that they think you’re too cool for school. So, the big question is: how often should you text? 

The answer? Here’s a few scenario-specific factors to keep in mind. 

The Texting Golden Rule: Match Their Energy 

Consider it mirroring but pay attention to how their texting habits seem to take shape. If they seem to text you once a day, you can text them the same amount. If they’re inclined to double-text, it’s probably safe for you to double-text, too.  

• If they initiate conversions with you and respond to your questions promptly, rest assured you’re in a good place. Keep the momentum going with casual and fun exchanges. 
• If they seem to take a long time to reply (hours are okay, days not so much) but still seem engaged when they do so, that’s okay. Give them their texting space and remember that not everyone is glued to their phones (but why they wouldn’t be, I’ll never know)
• By the same token, if they’re taking a long time to reply but you catch them creeping your socials, take that as a sign. It’s not an issue with their phone usage. If they wanted to talk to you, they would. 

Beware Introducing “Good Morning” and “Good Night” Texts 

If you haven’t already established a solid connection, daily “Good morning 😊” texts can come off as phoning it in. It’s not really the conversation starter you might think it is. At the same time “Good night 😘” texts can come off a little intense when they’re sent too quickly off the bat. In the early stages of dating, texting should feel light and natural. Don’t force it with these inauthentic greetings. Instead, skip the daily check-in and save your texts for when you actually have something to say. It doesn’t have to be much: share a funny meme, ask about their day, or follow-up on a conversation from earlier. 

Don’t Play Games

Skip the schoolyard games and be honest and upfront…but that doesn’t mean coming off as needy or possessive either. Just keep your cool and remember:

• People have lives. There’s no need to panic if they take a few hours to reply. 
• You can send a few texts in a row but don’t blow up their phones. If they’re interested, they’ll respond when they can. 
• Pay attention to their texting schedule. If they only seem to text you late at night or on weekends (or during the day but with zero effort), you might be in a situationship. Proceed with caution. 

Keep the Conversation Flowing

Even though texting is great, it’s not enough to sustain a deep relationship long term. Once you’ve been texting for a while, daily and several times a day, it’s time to integrate some other activities into the repertoire. Chat on FaceTime, hang out in real life, and always remember, it’s about quality over quantity.