January 2, 2025
From First Date to Second: How to Set the Tone

Yippee! You survived a first date and now you’re crossing your fingers to secure a second one. But don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Remember that the stretch of time between the first and second date is tenuous. Texting your new connection through this period can potentially strengthen it or cause it to fizzle.
Not to imply that you should put undue pressure on yourself. Just the opposite! Keep it friendly and continue to build rapport, show interest, and maintain momentum without overdoing it. Here are a few things you should and should not do when texting between the first and second date.
What To Do When Texting Between Dates
Start with a follow up.
Emily Post would agree: a thoughtful follow-up message after the first date can casually demonstrate both your interest and appreciation. Something to the tune of: “I had a great time last night. It was so fun to [insert activity] with you. Let’s do it again soon!” This type of text sets a friendly, positive tone while also directly suggesting that you’ll have a second date.
Be aware of their energy.
Pay attention to how your date texts and try to match their energy. If they’re coming at you with enthusiasm and detailed responses, go ahead and mirror their style. If they seem more laid-back then skip overwhelming them with long, elaborate texts.
Keep it light and low stakes.
While texting between the first and second date should be engaging, there’s no need to start revealing your deep, dark secrets. Instead, share a funny meme related to something you discussed or bring up a topic from your date to keep the connection alive.
Suggest a second date.
Since the first date went well, there’s no need to wait to propose a second one. Consider what you’ve learned about them so far and suggest an idea for your next outing that builds on that info. Bonus points for showing that you’re paying attention and seeing them for who they are.
What Not to Do When Texting Between Dates
Jump in with both feet. Instead: Chill out.
Yes, you’re excited but don’t over do it! Avoid bombing your date with texts or getting to intense and demanding constant responses. You don’t want to come across as needy, right?
Play games. Instead: Be clear and straightforward.
It’s important that you remain an authentic person when texting between first and second date. Playing games or attempting to be mysterious by being vague or distant is a turn off. Sending mixed signals can create confusion and make your date second-guess how you feel about them (or how they might feel about you).
Reveal your innermost thoughts. Instead: Steer clear of overly personal topics.
While you might feel a connection that makes it tempting to dive into deeper conversations, there will be plenty of time for that if the relationship progresses. Save those serious discussions and long-term plans for later.
Overanalyze Their Responses. Instead: Take a breath.
People are busy! If someone takes longer to reply or sends you a shorter message, there’s no need to panic. People have lots going on so don’t take it personally.
Think of texting between dates as a chance to build on the spark from your initial meeting. Keep it casual but be yourself and remember to have fun.