What Is Slow Dating?

Anyone on the dating scene feeling burned out by the hustle of the swiping game and shallowness of picking potential partners based on a few photos might be relieved to hear about the new trend of “slow dating.” Equally tiresome is “hookup culture” which leaves little room for lasting or emotional connections.

Slow dating is an approach to relationships that emphasizes taking time to truly connect with someone and build a foundation of trust and common interests rather than simply leaping into a relationship. Unlike the alternatives of fast-paced apps, speed dating, or just hoping for a quick match, slow dating truly underlines the importance of quality over quantity with romantic possibilities.

The Tenets of Slow Dating:

Intentionality

Being mindful and initial about getting to know someone is at the heart of slow dating. Skip the surface level instant attraction in favour of taking time to explore compatibility with someone on every level. Think: core values, personal interests, and lifelong goals. 

Patience

It can be tricky to push down the need for instant gratification or immediately determining if you’re on the same page in a relationship. Instead of labelling or defining what your relationship is, let it become clear, naturally over time. 

Go Deep

Get deep with one another when you chat. Delve into meaningful and engaging conversation. Don’t leave the hard stuff off the table — it’s how you’ll know if you’re truly a fit. 

Lighten Up

Relationship milestones are wholly manufactured and only hold the value of what you assign to them. Haven’t met each other’s parents? No big deal. Didn’t celebrate a specific length of time dating? It literally doesn’t matter. 

Slow Dating How-To

1. Take your Time

There shouldn’t be a rush to schedule follow-up dates or plan too far in advance. Take a beat in between get-togethers to evaluate how you really feel and recentre yourself to determine if this relationship aligns with what you want. 

2. Communicate Effectively

Avoid playing games. Let your date know what you want from the dating process and that you want it to go slowly without any unnecessary pressure. Give them time to decide if slow dating feels like a fit to them as well. 

3. Be Here Now

Just embrace the present. Don’t waste energy worrying about where things are headed and instead just enjoy where you are in the moment. 

4. Ditch the Apps 

Managing multiple potentials and concurrent conversations means that apps are not conducive to slow dating. Instead opt for in-person, serendipitous encounters as much as possible. If you are using an app, make sure to take advantage of an anonymous Hushed online number for added safety and privacy. 

5. Just Breathe

Dating with any approach can be super overwhelming. Even with the best of intentions, implementing a slow dating mentality might feel daunting and you might be tempted to just jump back on the apps and return to the status quo. Try to take a breath and remember that this could be the ticket to finding a true and loving person to have a relationship with.